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| That's how it was started...
In a girlie gathering, I announced that I broke up with my boyfriend. All girls raised up their hands saying that they have qualified men to introduce to me. Okay, E said she knew a PhD Canadian guy looking for Asian girlfriend.
First, PhD=nerdy?
Second, Canadian=where the hell is it?
Third, Like asian girl=you are looking for prostitutes?
Anyway, have a try.
E invited him, his flatmate and I for a dinner. I remembered the handshakes from him was pretty firm 'Hi, I am Teresa. Nice to meet you.' We talked about food, movies, Korean and Chinese. After 2 hours, I didn't feel the chemistry. Honestly I even forgot his name and face after the dinner. 2 days later, he texted me and asked me to go out. While I was a newbee broken heart, I had no mood to hang out with guys. After 2 weeks of trying from him, here came our first date.
As I said I forgot how did he look, I just stood at the train station and waited for him to wave at me. 'Hi, you have been here for a while?' 'No, I was here only minutes ago' No way, you were late and I was standing there for 15 mins!!! Anyway. We watched a show and had few beers. In the pub, you tried to hold my hands and I withdrew immediately. Sorry..I was not in the correct mode.
Second date and the first kiss came on the same day. He invited me to his place and cooked a dinner. Let's see what would he prepare - Not something very fancy but tasted really well - chilly chicken fajita. Yum! When I was at his place, he behaved so well and we had no physical contacts. Can you believe that a gwai lo can control so well? Impressive and go one level up. After the dinner, I had to go home and he walked me to the tram station. Before I got on the tram, I wanted to say goodbye and presented him a swiss gesture - 3 kisses on the cheek. 'Bye now! I will see you next time' I said. I approached him but his lips were pressed on mine...OMG! After 3 secs, I was frozen. 'Sorry, is it too rude?' He asked nervously. 'No, it is okay' Seriously, it is just FINE. I ran to the tram and left.
Hereafter, we hanged out more, chatted more, shared more, and closed a lot of gaps. Finally becomes boyfriend and girlfriend. A lot of things still have to develop between us. He is super logical and thinks way too scientific. I am super emotional and think the world is a dream. But he is not as nerdy as I first thoughts, rather he likes metallic music and extremely funny. We like to kick each others a lot but I always win. A 185 cm tall guy with a pierce on his lip comes across with a 155 cm tall girl with a fantasy in her mind. God knows what will happen in their future. = )
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| Sept 2009 is a tough month. I broke up with boyfriend, sold my furniture, look for new flat, get rid of old flat etc. No one can imagine how terrible it is especially when I have to do all these on my own. I always sort out my own issues as many as I can without asking people to help since I believe things can be resolved in a way. There are millions of ways, sometimes difficult sometimes easy, but no matter what, at the end they will be resolved. So, in order to do it in my own way, I hope things will become good by my own ability or power.
However, it is NEVER easy.
I am almost there now - got a fresh boyfriend, sold my furniture and someone took it, living in my home sweet home, a lady signed the contract yesterday. The hardship seems to be close to an end. Unfortunately it is always the toughest when it is going to be end. I am super stressed and can't wait to see the result. I do hope people will help and support me while I am trying the very best to keep things nice and perfect. However it never goes to the way that you want to see and I am breaking into pieces.
I take all pressures on my shoulder and think one day things will pass through. My life will be normal again. Normal is a wish. I don't know the others, but life is never normal to me. I just have to face everything in an abnormal sense and try to push them to be close to normal standard. Somehow I also don't know how can I take all and finally I can still simile at all nightmares..
Phew....things are towards the end. So soon.
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| Assuming that no one has luck of happiness in entire life, misery has to show up once or twice or more time. No surprise that when misery comes, you want to get rid of it by all means. However if one is not stronger than destiny, the tragedy will fall and step closer.
Ups and downs are friends but they will never meet for more than one sec. Ups and then downs, ups and then downs, they will meet, say hi and bye immediately. How ironic that they are friends but never sit down together and talk about life. This formula tells you that, when you are happy, you will not find your sadness. Vice versa. While I am in my down period, I cannot see things becoming positive in the near future.
Well...
Life sucks, relationship sucks and work especially sucks. I wonder how people can go through this. It's a complicated issue. Wanna change my life but I stuck in here. Wanna break up but I stuck in here. Wanna quit my work but I stuck in the adverse economy. So after all, I trapped in a state of no return.
No return. A short statement about life at present. If I am a computer, I will save the file, store it in a folder, and then open a new file, and start in a new folder. When I feel like it, I will delete the old folder and keep the new one. However, I will never be a computer. I will never be.
It's a tragedy huh? It's really bad now, absolutely bad. I tell myself million times to forget all these but fail. Failure makes one sad and more tragedies will follow. I hope not.
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| Just finished watching a Taiwanese TV series. As usual, the story is like the normal rountine of the classic love novel - finally the prince and princess live happily together. Good stuff to burn my time. One line from the main actor inspires me though: I found my real self when I am with her, therefore I need her and love her.
Well...
When I am with my beloved, I can always become myself. Maybe to my colleagues, you can see the me in 20%, 50% to general friends, 85% to real friends and family, but 99.9% with him. And even though he sees everything, he can still show his patience and love. After all, you cannot leave him since you find him.
I feel really lucky that he is now here. He accepts all Goods and Bads. Sometimes I feel quite guilty when I put my anger on him, but at the end he will simply understand that is me, and he knows that I am just being so upset about other things. So he will just calm down, touch me softly and give me a big hug, said 'You know, I am here, don't be, everything will be fine.'
Yes, everything will be fine when you are here. = )
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| To me, stomach ache and stress always link together since I was 10. Back to thousand years ago, I had my first exam in a new school. For no reason, I had stomach ache. My mum sent me to different doctors and hospital, but no one can find out the reason. I even had my first ever ultra sound screening but doctor could only say I was absolutely normal. Later mum believed that it is a psychological reason, when I feel stress or forced to do something that I don't want to, I will have serious pain in my stomach.
Now I have this again. It's so pain while you cannot sit or sleep probably. I know the reason is that I hate to go back to office. This negative reaction also pushes me to find out a real solution.
Know what, all my colleagues who leave the bank find a happier life. I really hope I am one of them. God, please bless me.
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